Night that changed the Royals forever after Meghan’s distressing suicide admission to Harry

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It should have been one of the happiest times of a newlywed's life as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were just months away from the birth of their first child.

But on January 16, 2019, Meghan had turned to her husband and revealed that she was deeply depressed and she was suicidal.

Opening up about the chilling night on his new docuseries, The Me You Can't See, Harry talks about how it showed him that his role as a Royal and as a husband were incompatible. It was the night that changed the Royals forever.

Harry reveals in the docuseries that he was “deeply ashamed” by his first reaction to Meghan's honesty just hours before they were due to attend a high profile event at the Royal Festival Hall on the night of January 16, 2019.

"I'm somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with them," he said.

"And of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle and then we had to get changed to jump in a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event. Then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything's okay.

"There wasn't an option to say, 'you know what, tonight, we're not going to go' because just imagine the stories that come from that."

No one would have guessed at the trauma in the hearts of the couple that night, as Meghan looked stunning in a full length navy sequin Roland Mouret gown as they attended the premiere of Cirque du Soliel's Totem show at the Royal Albert Hall.

But in The Me You Can't See, Harry points out the toll it took on them to put on a happy front, and hide their pain.

"While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other's hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I'm feeling sorry for her, but I'm also really angry with myself that we're stuck in this situation," Harry said.

"I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family.

"Because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I'm not gonna get from my family what I need.

"I then had a son who I'd far rather be solely focused on, rather than every time I look into his eyes, wondering whether my wife is going to end up like my mother and I'm going to have to look after him myself."

Earlier this year, Meghan also opened up about that horrible night to Oprah Winfrey, revealing how it still haunts her.

She told Winfrey: “One of the things that still haunts me is this photograph that someone had sent me, we had to go to an official event at the Royal Albert Hall.

“A friend said: ‘I know you don’t look at pictures, but oh my god, you guys look so great’ and sent it to me.

“I zoomed in and what I saw was the truth of what that moment was, because right before we had to leave for that (event), I had just had that conversation with Harry that morning.”

She said: “And we went. And that picture, if you zoom in, what I see is how tightly his knuckles are gripped around me.”

How to watch The Me You Can't See on Apple TV+?

You can watch the new documentary series, produced by Prince Harry and Oprah Winfrey, by signing up to Apple TV+ streaming service here. The new show, which will air on May 21, explores mental health and emotional well-being and includes featured interviews from Lady Gaga, Glenn Close, NBA star DeMar DeRozan and others about their experiences.

You can subscribe to Apple TV+ instantly for £4.99 a month or try the free 7-day trial, but remember to cancel before the trial ends to avoid getting charged the full subscription fee. Apple is also giving away Apple TV+ subscriptions for free for one year when you purchase a new iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, Apple TV or Mac. Find out more about the offer by visiting

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Meghan says that it was her husband who “saved” her. That night was a turning point for the couple. A few months later, Archie was born and just over a year later, had relinquised their roles as senior members of the Royal family.

If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit

Watch The Me You Can't See on Apple TV+

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