Some of our younger readers might not remember this, but there was a time when comparing two women and brutally judging their appearances was a common pastime on the internet.
If you saw the Social Network, then you know that the website created specifically for this disgusting practice formed the foundation of what later become Facebook.
Before we proceed, we’d like to make it clear that we’re not looking to delve back into the bad old days of the internet by pitting the moms of Teen Mom against one another in the title for number one TMOGMILF.
But when we learned that someone had attempted to use a scientific formula in order to determine which Mom is the most attractive, we knew we had to bring it your attention.
Yes, it might sound like a colossal waste of time — and it almost certainly is! — but Lucy Williams, the owner of Aurielle Aesthetics, examined pics of all the Moms and used the Ancient Greek theory of the Golden Ratio in order to determine which one is the most attractive.
The ratio is determined by comparing the sizes of the forehead, nose, and chin areas.
Standards of beauty have changed just a smidge over the course of the past few millennia, but the Greeks believed the perfect ration was 3:2:3.
So who won the contest according to Lucy and the Ancient Greeks?
Well, apparently it was a split decision.
According to the Golden Ratio, Farrah Abraham’s face comes closest to having the perfect proportions.
Of course, as most fans of the show know, Farrah’s love of plastic surgery helped her along in her path to perfection.
“In Farrah’s before picture, her face is longer than it is wide suggesting she has an oval or long face shape,” Williams said of Farrah’s before-and-after shots.
“However, in her more recent pictures, her cheeks seem more defined and have more volume, and her lip to chin ratio is smaller,” she added.
“Due to these changes in her most recent pictures and with her face width being more equal across all facial thirds with her cheeks wider and chin slimmer, I would say she now has a heart shape face, also known as the most attractive face shape.
“In Farrah’s most recent pics her facial thirds are more equal and balanced giving her a better golden ratio than her before.”
So that’s what the Greeks think, but in Williams’ personal opinion, it’s Cheyenne Floyd who takes the top spot.
Needless to say, it’s a decision that most TMOG viewers would probably prefer over the Farrah one.
And it seems Cheyenne would fare pretty well with Aristotle and company, as well:
“In my opinion, she has the perfect face out of all her Teen Mom cast. She has a prominent forehead and strong chin, giving her the most wanted heart shape face,” Williams said.
“Another attribute of Cheyenne’s beauty is the length of her ears being the same length as her nose giving balance and symmetry.”
Next on the list is Catelynn Lowell, who Williams assigned a 3:2:2 ratio.
“Catelynn has striking blue eyes which is the first feature I’m drawn to,” she remarked.
Next comes, Amber Portwood, who’s apparently rocking a 2:2:3 ratio.
“Amber has lovely petite features with a subtle jawline,” Williams said.
“Her face is about the same width as the length, with the lower third of her face being slightly longer than the upper parts,” she remarked.
Maci Bookout and Mackenzie McKee tied with a ratio of 3:2:2.
“Maci has a beautiful balance to her face shape,” Williams revealed, adding:
“Maci’s face length is 2.1 times the width of her face, which is a lot longer than the desired 1.6 golden ratio.
Williams emphasized that that’s not necessarily a bad thing, noting that the same ratio works well for both Maci and Mackenzie.
“Mackenzie has a typical rectangular face shape,” she said.
“Her face is about 1.5 as long as it is wide, giving her an overall natural balance to the face.”
Well, that’s nice — we usually don’t think of the Teen Mom cast members as being very balanced.
Hopefully none of them will have their faces rearranged by an angry co-star while shooting the Teen Mom spin-off that’s filming now.
Otherwise, Ms. Williams might have to hand out some new scores in a few weeks!
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