Westworld actress Evan Rachel Wood is opening up about a dark time in her life.
In an emotional essay for Nylon, Wood, 31, addressed her years of mental health issues, saying she finally came to terms with them and checked herself into a psychiatric hospital after she attempted suicide at age 22.
“Looking back, it was the worst, best thing that ever happened to me,” Wood began.
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She said that in the moments following the attempt, her anxiety became extremely clear to her, and she knew what to do.
“It was morning; I felt as though I had been hit by a truck. Then with an almost hysterical acceptance, without thinking, I picked up the phone. It was one of those moments when you have a choice that goes beyond the initial choice you make by calling out for help: You can not die, or you can come back to life,” Wood wrote.
The actress then called her mother, saying she wanted to go to rehab.
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“‘Mom?… It’s me… I just tried to kill myself… I need to go to a hospital,’” Wood wrote, recalling the scary incident.
When her mother asked her why she’d tried to take her own life, Wood explained: “’I just wanted some peace.’”
The actress admitted in her essay that maintaining her Hollywood image was one of the reasons she was hesitant to seek help. And when she finally entered the psychiatric facility, she changed her name to keep rumors from spreading.
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At the hospital, Wood said she finally accepted her illness, and realized it stemmed from severe PTSD from her past experiences with sexual assault.
“My PTSD was caused by multiple rapes and a severely abusive relationship that went on for years,” Wood wrote.
After a short time, the Thirteen actress left the hospital and got prescribed medicine for her anxiety.
Now, Evan Rachel has become an advocate for mental health treatment, often speaking out about the importance of seeking help.
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