I don’t let my daughter call me ‘mum’ & told her the reason why – it left her in tears and now trolls are attacking me | The Sun

A MUM has revealed the reason she prefers for her children to call her by her name, and it’s left her daughter in tears.

Posting to Reddit, the mum-of-two says that she doesn’t allow her children to call her ‘mum’ and instead likes to be called her actual name.

She had previously told her children that this was as it would be easier for them to find her in a crowd if they got lost, when asked this time she decided to tell her eldest the truth behind this decision.

The anonymous mum says that she was tired, and had been driving for eight hours when her daughter, who is now 15, asked the question.

She writes: “ I have never wanted children, being in my early forties when I had her and her younger brother was a choice of my partner as I gave in and complied to the idea. 

I never held a deep affection for them at first but as they grow I realise how much I truly love them.”


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When explaining this to her daughter, she said: “ I told my daughter that I never wished to be a mother and I’d much rather not be tied down to the lifestyle of it. I didn’t think much of this as I was tired and just wanted to arrive at our destination.”

At the time the daughter just responded with “so that’s the real reason” but that evening she discussed it further, ending up in tears.

“I didn’t believe that I might have been in the wrong for telling her when she was the one to push for the reason,” writes the woman.

“However later broke down after her dad joked about how he would be fine to allow her to call him dad (he was drinking that night).”

She explains that while pregnant she broached the topic with her partner, and while at first he was reluctant to not be called dad, he eventually came around to being called by his name.

The mum continues detailing what happened that night, writing: “My daughter came out saying how I have burdened her with my words and how she ‘second guesses’ her position as my daughter.

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“She began to spiral and overreact, asking why I would tell her that, if I love her, etc. Then began to say how she wants the intimacy of calling me mum and how she does not feel close to me. 

“We have never had a problem of how she calls me by my name and I thought she would only ask simply due the curiosity of a growing person. She has yet to calm down and is still fairly tempered with me. 

“It’s been a few days and there remains a lot of tension whilst her father does not remember the events that took place being drunk so I come here for judgement.”

The vast majority of comments on the post, are criticising and attacking the mum, with one writing: “WTF is wrong with you? You just told her she was unloved and unwanted. Some day you will be one of those people whining about your children never calling you.”

“‘I never wanted you, only had you to keep my partner, and I may love you now but not enough to let you call me mum.’ How would you possibly NOT be the asshole for telling a teenager that?” asked a second Reddit user.

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A third added: “Alternative title "I told my child I never wanted them, now they're sad" what did you think would happen?”

One user suggested that while tiredness may have caused the mum to answer without really thinking, she should now put effort in to make amends to her daughter, instead of complaining about the situation online.

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