Ellen Pompeo talks race, marriage and reveals she hasn’t spoken to Patrick Dempsey since 2015

Ellen Pompeo revealed she and former on-screen love, Patrick Dempsey, have not spoken since he left the show in 2015. 

Pompeo was a guest on Monday’s episode of “Red Table Talk” where she pulled a question about her former “Grey’s Anatomy” co-star out of a bowl: “Are you and Patrick Dempsey still friends?” 

“We haven’t spoken since he’s left the show,” Pompeo told her hosts, Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter, Willow Smith, and her mom, Adrienne Banfield-Norris. “I have no hard feelings toward him. He’s a wonderful actor, and we made the best TV you can make together.

“That’s a talented man right there,” she continued, praising him, “and he did 11 amazing years.”

Pompeo said it’s typical that when people exit the ABC series which premiered in 2005, they need to figure out “who they are without the show, because the show takes up so much of your life”. 

“So, we have not spoken,” she added, “but I will always have a place in my heart for Patrick.”

While appearing on the Facebook Watch series, Pompeo and her hosts discussed race and her interracial marriage to music producer Chris Ivery. The two wed in 2007 and share three children. 

Pompeo said her upbringing in Italian-Irish neighborhood in Boston impacted her.

“It doesn’t get anymore racist than that,” she said. “The racism is what drew me to black people. Because I was like, ‘What is it? What is this anger and this name-calling?’ And it just made me so curious.”

Pinkett Smith opened up about her own experience with white women, and her trepidation.

“I’m always feeling like in a certain way, white women are looking down at black women in a certain matter – like, they’re angry, they’re mean,” she shared.

The actress also said, in an effort to not be stereotyped, she consciously changed her demeanor.

“I know even for me, over the years, (being) from Baltimore, from deep in the hood and having to really learn how to streamline my behavior and comments and style of communication because it was just considered so offensive, and the idea of just being your passionate, big self is just one of those things that you just got to keep on keeping on and breaking those stereotypes.”

Pinkett Smith, also reflected on dating white men in the past.

“I have dated some really wonderful white men, but it was interesting in the fact that you’re dating someone who has no idea what oppression (is like)…” she said. “He’s at the top of the food chain. He doesn’t understand, you know what I mean? It’s a very hard thing for him to be able to relate to. It was always the factor in the relationship that made it break.”

“Red Table Talk” broadcasts on Facebook on Mondays (12 p.m. ET/9 a.m. PT).

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