DEAR DEIDRE: MY children’s mother no longer allows them to stay overnight at my home and I’m worried I’m losing touch with them both.
I split up with their mum ten years ago. I’m a man of 43. Their mother and their grandmother were very abusive towards me, both physically and mentally.
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My son is now 16 and my daughter is 13. They have no idea how badly their mother treated me and I’m not going to tell them.
I have always provided for them financially and they used to stay every other weekend but their mum doesn’t allow it since I have a new relationship.
My son doesn’t seem bothered. I hardly get to see him at all these days.
The younger one comes to visit and she’s fine with me but the older one even missed sending me a birthday card. That really hurt.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s unfair of your ex to make it hard for your children to see you.
Ask her to go with you to sort this out through National Family Mediation (nfm.org.uk, 0300 4000 636).
Even if she won’t, keep being welcoming to your kids who will make their own decisions soon.
Friends often feel more important to older teenagers than parents – together or separated – but give your son time and chances are he’ll come back to you.
Suggest a regular FaceTime chat with him to stay in touch.
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