I feel lost and alone after I was left to care for my stepdad when mum died

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM struggling to care for my stepdad after my mum died three years ago.

He has been in and out of hospital with various health problems but none of his family or friends seem to want to know.


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They have left me to deal with him all by myself even though they know I am really struggling.

When I mention how hard it is, they just tell me I should call the council, social services or even the Samaritans – anyone but them.

I am a 54-year-old woman.

I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and shopping for my stepdad. He is 82.

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Social services told me that it was my job to care for him, as we live in the same house.

It all becomes too much sometimes. I don’t get a break or a holiday.

If I am unwell myself, I still have to do everything. I feel lost and alone.

DEIDRE SAYS:  Many carers feel their own needs and feelings are often sidelined.

Tell your stepdad’s friends and family you need more support so you are able to get some respite from all the demands.

You are doing an amazing job but as his health deteriorates, a full-time care setting might be kindest for you all.

Find support through Age UK (ageuk.org.uk, 0800 678 1174).

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