A woman has been left ‘feeling lost’ after her husband left her because he thought she was cheating.
The plot twist is that his only reason for thinking his wife was cheating was nothing more than a text from a friend who she has no feelings for — and he only brought this up after she accused him of cheating. With her 19-year-old niece.
The woman, who posted about her situation on the parenting community website Netmums, said she and her husband, who have been together for three years, recently relocated to a new country after adopting her five niece and nephews after their parents died.
‘I started noticing my niece, who was 19 at the time, and my husband staring at each other constantly,’ she wrote.
‘I brushed it off for so long, but the feeling won’t go away.
‘I was pregnant with my first child when I noticed a bra under the couch where he and she spend most of their time.
‘We never keep bras in the living room, so I was wondering why the bra ended up in the living room.
‘The stares, the glances and him spreading his leg and touching his lips while directly staring at her made me so uncomfortable.
‘One day, I saw him open the door and touch her hand, but he never opened the door for me, never touched me, never said “I love you” to me.’
She said her gut feeling continued to intensify, but she felt crazy for thinking they would do such a thing but every little sign, such as them ‘accidentally’ touching each other would heighten her worry.
‘He is the kind who will never ever admit to anything, even if I catch them in the act he will find excuses,’ she continued.
‘I decided to bring it up as I could not handle the feeling any longer.
‘Both denied, but now they know I am watching, so they try to hide it but still do the same thing when they think I am not watching.’
After having two children, paying for their mortgage and spending over $40,000 on maintenance on the house, as well as paying for the wedding, the woman said she felt used. But out of the blue, her husband accused her of cheating.
‘He left me and then came back, saying he wanted to work on our relationship,’ she said. ‘I am feeling lost.’
Commenters were wholeheartedly in support of the woman, who said she wanted to take her husband off the mortgage and add her children as beneficiaries
‘Leave him,’ wrote one Netmums user.
‘He’s trying to gaslight you because he knows you know and turning everything around to keep you questioning your reality.
‘Sounds like narcissistic personality disorder.’
Another told her to change her locks ‘immediately’ and call the police if her husband causes any issues.
‘I completely echo what’s been said,’ another woman commented.
‘You sound like an incredibly strong and self-sufficient woman and you are more than able to do this without him.’
It is possible for a relationship to recover from cheating, but honesty is key – something that seems missing from the above scenario.
Counselling Directory member Dr Daniela Hecht previously told us that, while discovering a partner’s infidelity is ‘probably one of the most painful experiences you go through in a relationship’, there are questions you should ask yourself before you end things.
‘Before you call it quits, it might be helpful to look a bit further into your shared past and your relationship thus far,’ she said. Have you noticed anything different lately? Has either one of you changed, becoming less involved in each other’s lives?’
‘Has there been pressure on one or both of you, and how has your communication been? Has your relationship suffered in any way?
‘How did you feel towards your partner before you found out and now? How do they feel towards you?
‘What has been their reasoning for cheating? What did it mean for them – was it a fling, only physical, or something meaningful?
‘And finally, would you like to make it work again and, does your partner?’
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