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Halloween may not be as big a deal here as in the US.
But you only needed to have wandered around any UK city this weekend to have seen plenty of pointy hats and white-ed out faces, off to celebrate the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Saint's Day.
According to research conducted by Southern Comfort, the top 10 Halloween costumes are: witch, vampire, zombie, ghost, cat, clown, grim reaper, angel, pumpkin, Catwoman. The same research says that 76% of people feel that their Halloween costumes are “boring and predictable”.
READ MORE: Hot gran strips down to vampire lingerie in graveyard – but lands herself in trouble
Surely there’s a host of 2023 influences out there? Why not go as Pedro Pascal or a zombie from The Last Of Us? Dead Ted Lasso? Wednesday Addams? The AI generated Pope? Zombie Barbie and Ken?
I spent the night trying out some more exotic Halloween outfits, to save you the bother. And here were my most entertaining attempts…
5pm – Sam Smith
If there’s been one takeaway outfit from 2023, it’s the inflatable number Sam Smith wore to the Brit Awards in February, if only for the questions it raised. How do you blow it up? What happens if you get a puncture? How many bin-bags did it take to make?
Smith’s outfit was created by 29-year-old south Indian designer Harri who used 80 panels of latex to recreate the perspective seen by his dog.
Harri has now designed three Halloween costumes, available for hire to the general public on a first-come, first-served basis, reimagining the classic witch, vampire and pumpkin in his unique inflatable latex form.
“The Golden Pumpkin is symbolic for Halloween,” he tells me. “The Villain Vampire is based on the businessmen you see in suits and long jackets on the tube. And the Red Witch on a bottle of red wine.”
Climbing into the latex suits at Costume Boutique in Ladbroke Grove in West London is a strange experience: like putting on a baggy wetsuit that tightens when inflated, like when they put one of those things on your wrist to take your blood pressure. I can’t remember when I last had to put on a tie (usually reserved for weddings and funerals), so I have to remember how to do up the rubber tie on my Vampire Sam Smith.
Pumpkin and Witch Sam Smith have been made for a size 8-10 lady. In the politest possible way, I don’t have the midriff of a size 8-10 lady. The latex gets stretched within an inch of its life.
I turn heads as I go for a wander around nearby Portobello Market. “Mind the rose bushes,” says my fashion assistant, Lauren (the outfits costs thousands) who helped squeeze me in and inflate me, probably seeing things she can never unsee in the process. I’d definitely stand out in these at a party. I’d also probably be okay if I accidentally fell off the side of a ferry.
- Practicality: 3 out of 5 pumpkins
- Scariness: 3 out of 5 witches hats
8pm – Giant snack
This year, Walkers crisps are inviting its eaters to dress up in their first ever range of ‘scarily giant snackstumes’.
It might seem like a strange tie-in. Then again, Colgate (the toothpaste people) once released a frozen lasagne. But there *has* been a trend of US celebrities dressing up as their favourite snacks, including Harrison Ford as a hot dog, Justin Timberlake as an omelette, Mariah Carey as a packet of biscuits, and – crucially – Katy Perry as a Cheeto.
Perhaps it’s not so ridiculous to dress up as a giant Wotsit? So I gave it a try. There’s no orange line on the tube, so I take the pink Hammersmith and City (orange and pink go, right?) on to our next destination of Peckham in South London. Changing into my giant Wotsit is harder than it looks. Lauren and I spend ages working out which way up it’s supposed to be and where your arms and legs go.
Once inflated, I’m so tall, I can hardly sit down without hitting the roof. It amuses my other passengers who pull out their phones to document a giant cheesy snack riding the subway.
At Peckham, I hop out of my Wotsit into a Monster Munch and stop off for a well-needed beer. It’s thirsty work being a bar snack.
- Practicality: 2 out of 5 ghosts
- Scariness: 3 out of 5 skulls
10pm – Secret squirrel
My final stop is Clapham Grand – who are hosting their annual Halloween Party.
Everyone will be dressed to the hilts in Halloween gear, so if I’m going to stand out, I’ll have to up the ante.
Jared Leto’s Choupette that he wore to the Met Gala in May would be good. Alas, I don’t have a giant cat costume lying around. Don’t ask why, but I do have a giant squirrel.
So if I can’t go as Cocaine Bear from this year’s Netflix documentary – I can at least go as a giant rodent.
It’s been even longer since I dressed as a squirrel than I last put on a tie. It’s also been a long time (actually, since never) that my squirrel outfit has been cleaned. It certainly whiffs a bit. Oh well. Hopefully that will add to part of the Halloween “charm”.
My name’s down on the door, so at least I don’t have to get my fur wet in the rain. Inside, the party is already booming. I can’t see much in my squirrel head, but there are vampires, ghosts, witches and zombies everywhere.
It’s been ages since I’ve been to a nightclub, but after a couple of ghoulish cocktails, I’m in such a great party mood, I nearly forget I’m dressed as a giant squirrel… until I need to go to the toilet.
- Practicality: 3 out of 5 squirrels
- Scariness: 4 out of 5 vampires
- Halloween
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