Q: I was at a Daryl Braithwaite pub gig with a Baby Boomer audience. While most of us behaved ourselves, I was stuck beside a very amorous couple tongue-kissing and dry-humping each other. Aren’t Baby Boomers supposed to act responsibly in public?
A.J., Mount Martha, Vic
Illustration by Simon Letch.Credit:
A: Daryl has this power over Baby Boomers. He takes them back to their horny, hormonal teenage years and they suddenly get an uncontrollable urge to have sex with each other, then pop down to the milk bar for 20 musk sticks, 10 cobbers, and a cola-flavoured Glug. This is called “The Daryl Braithwaite Nostalgia Effect” – it’s what happens when people over 50 listen to classic songs from the ’70s, sung by someone who sounds like a castrato from the 1600s.
They just need to hear the opening strains of Summer Love and they’re instantly transported to a ’70s backyard party, everyone pashing and petting, except for a few nerds in the corner, discussing whether Sherbet stole the “Bye-bye troubles, goodbye” melody from the Beatles’ Mean Mr Mustard.
They just need to hear the vocal intro of Howzat and they’re back at a high school formal, dry-humping on the dance floor, while six guys named Shane sneak off to the dunnies to Glad Wrap the toilets. They just need to hear the chorus of The Horses and they go berserk: they’ll have rampant public sex right there on the floor, pausing only to yell out the “pick you up, pick you up” bit.
And the Daryl Braithwaite Nostalgia Effect is a good thing, it’s a great thing. It’s nice for middle-aged people to let loose now and then, to feel young and sexy again, to relive their horny, hormonal teenage years without having to worry about acne, periods or any unwanted, long-lasting erections.
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