A send-off fit for a (drag) Queen: JANET STREET-PORTER on her friend Paul O’Grady’s riotous memorial, bursting with glitter, glamour… and a very touching message from Camilla

Paul O’Grady was the one-off I was lucky enough to know as a friend, a force of nature who could be ferociously cutting and brutally honest.  

There was little difference between his monstrous creation Lily Savage and Paul O’Grady, and you didn’t expect Paul/Lily to dish out smarmy words of praise if you didn’t merit them.

Unlike 99 per cent of the people in the entertainment industry, Paul had no time for showbiz schmoozing. 

He told it how it was, and had a prodigious work ethic. He was never happier than when he had taken on too much work, so he could have a good moan to anyone in earshot.

He loved animals more than most people, because their love was unconditional.

Paul O’Grady, pictured at Buckingham Palace with his MBE in October 2008, was a one-off

His death aged just 67 last March seemed shocking, because Paul – once considered so outrageous – had become a National Treasure, someone who seemed like an exotic distant relative. 

We all wanted to meet Paul – known to his mates as Savage – even if the actual experience might be a bit frightening.

Savage had brilliantly transformed his career from a drag act (as Lily Savage, foul mouthed Liverpudlian trollop) who started out in a South London gay pub to hosting successful television shows, from frothy teatime chat to game shows in prime time.

His ITV series For the Love of Dogs really connected with the British public. 

He accomplished all this without ever compromising or watering down his acerbic and witty character. 

Paul O’Grady is pictured with Camilla for his ‘For the Love of Dogs’ TV show in December 2022 

When he decided to retire Lily, he continued touring in musicals, playing Miss Hannigan in Annie, the Musical, right up to three days before his death.

Paul O’Grady made being gay totally acceptable at every level of society. His love of animals resulted in a friendship with Queen Camilla, who co-presented an episode of his series to celebrate 150 years of Battersea Dogs and Cats Home. Lily Savage ended up having tea with the Queen at Clarence House!

Paul loved to party and although he’d had heart problems, continued to smoke.

Although he complained he was tired, he went out for a Karaoke night with the crew after the show on his last tour. When I went to see him perform in Edinburgh a few years ago, he insisted we went to a gay club around the corner afterwards, and I left him there at 3am.

Paul O’Grady’s ITV series For the Love of Dogs really connected with the British public

So when he sadly departed for the great ash tray in the sky, there was no way Paul O’Grady would leave this planet in a dreary way. His friends and family were determined that he would be commemorated in suitable style.

Glamorous.

Most memorials are worthy affairs, taking place in cold churches or characterless halls. The celebration of Paul O’Grady’s life was always going to be in a class of its own. 

Memorials to the worthy in our society usually involve pompous speeches, second division poetry, waffling reminiscences by elderly friends and predictable music. 

Not very different to funerals, just less crying.

Paul’s riotous memorial – held in a glamorous Art Deco ballroom in Bloomsbury, London this week – showed there’s a better way to honour the departed. 

Amanda Holden was immaculately groomed at the memorial in Bloomsbury this week

Memorials shouldn’t just be about grieving, but a chance to celebrate and mark out what made someone special.

Savage’s life was commemorated in exactly the way he would have loved. Loads of swearing, buckets of booze, great music and an extraordinary guest list – from comedians and drag queens to politicians and mates from his home town, Liverpool.

Cherie Blair was chatting to Dawn French. Ed Miliband coming on all fan-boy to Julian Clary. 

How politicians love meeting comedians! Is it because comics are funny, relatable, and generally tell the truth? 

Perhaps Ed was hoping to garner some tips for the next election.

I sat with Dawn French, Jo Brand and Julian Clary (pictured) – the guest list of my dreams

Arriving in torrential rain, it was hard to know what to wear and how to arrange our faces for the paparazzi. Smiling or serious – my ‘concerned’ look came out more like an unintentional snarl.

Was the dress code glam, glitter, or discreet? Hard to know what seemed appropriate.

I chose a tasteful suit but ended up looking like a demented governess, or Miss Trunchbull from Matilda. Alan Carr opted for a smart dark jacket, but kept his options open, stripping it off later to reveal a horribly garish shirt. 

Amanda Holden was immaculately groomed, Jo Brand sported a large beautifully beaded heart on her black dress. 

I spotted Gaby Roslin, Helen Worth and Sheila Hancock, all looking very chic in bright colours.

Drag Queen Jodie Harsh was the most glamorous in a towering wig and a fierce expression 

But Drag Queen Jodie Harsh was the most glamorous of all in a towering wig and a fierce expression. Over drinks, everyone worried that our smiles might seem insincere or trite. This was a first, for even this hard-nosed crowd.

We were ushered from the bar into the mirrored ballroom to the sounds of a brass band. I sat with Dawn French, Jo Brand and Julian Clary – the guest list of my dreams.

Jo narrated proceedings from behind a screen at the side of the stage, and Julian delivered a unbelievably filthy speech, re-working his eulogy at Paul’s funeral. 

To set the tone for the evening Paul’s husband Andre Portasio delivered a touching tribute to the man who always managed to have the last word. 

Andre is a shy person, but his description of life with Paul was hilariously accurate.

We all wondered how Paul had actually died, and Andre revealed…

Paul’s husband Andre Portasio delivered a touching tribute to the man who always managed to have the last word 

The most outrageous man in show business had departed it in style, smoking a spliff in front of the telly at his farmhouse in Kent.

Speaker after speaker revealed that Paul had been ‘born to moan’. At this point I understood why we got on so well, I can moan for Europe, on any subject.

Celia Imrie read out a message from Queen Camilla sporting a huge paper crown, and drag artist Peter Groom gave an immaculate rendition of Marlene Dietrich in cabaret. 

There were contributions from Australian comedian Mark Trevorrow (who created Bob Downe) and Elaine C Smith sang Little Girls from Annie. 

All interspersed with intimate pictures of Savage at home with Andre and his menagerie; the pigs, chickens, dogs and llamas.

Celia Imrie read out a message from Queen Camilla sporting a huge paper crown 

With rousing performances from Jools Holland and a grand finale from Gipsy with the legendary Betty Legs Diamond and six dancers, this was a send off like no other.

As I emerged into the rain, I had a final moan, because it’s going to be hard to beat that send-off when I finally kick the bucket.

So here are my instructions.

Just incinerate me and don’t bother with a funeral. Book the Hippodrome in Great Yarmouth for a big party.

Glitter, glamour and drag queens are the way to go.

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