Woman in sex therapy admits she struggles to trust her boyfriend after he hid the fact he’d lost his job from her for THREE MONTHS
- Louisa, 30 and Nick, 34, appeared on new BBC3 reality series Sex on the Couch
- Couple met in 2014 and have been together five years but hardly ever have sex
- Therapist Lohani Noor asks if problems in the bedroom due to ‘unresolved issue’
- Unravels that Nick was dishonest about losing his job two years previously
A woman in sex therapy with her boyfriend reveals she struggles to trust him in the bedroom due to the fact he lied to her about losing his job for three months.
New BBC3 reality series Sex on the Couch sees couples visit a specially constructed clinic to open up about their relationship woes and inject intimacy back into their relationships.
Louisa, 30, and Nick, 34, who have been together five years after meeting at a publishing house where they both worked in 2014, admit they hardly ever have sex anymore since moving in together.
‘With the intimacy side, there is just such a disconnect,’ Louisa explains.
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Louisa, pictured right, reveals she struggles to trust Nicholas in the bedroom due to the fact he lied to her about losing his job for three months
‘We try and be intimate with each other but it’s just really hard. We’ve been able to fudge our way through everything else, but you can’t fake it in the bedroom.’
Louisa admits that she often finds intercourse painful as she suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome, also known as ME, and the chronic pain condition fibromyalgia.
But when sex therapist Lohani Noor digs deeper into their relationship, it becomes clear there is an ‘unresolved issue’ between the pair.
At that point Nick makes an emotional confession – that he hid the fact he’d lost his job from Louisa for ‘two or three months’.
Through tears, Nick admits he felt like a ‘failure’ and was scared Louisa would no longer be proud of him
Nick becomes emotional as he admits he hid the fact he’d lost his job from Louisa for ‘two or three months’
‘I’ve had issues with the person I am,’ he reveals. ‘I’ve been very dishonest in our relationship. I lost my job a couple of years ago. It came as a real shock to me and I felt like a failure.
‘I really felt like a failure after telling Louisa how well I was doing, because I was.’
Lohani points out that while his intention was to protect his girlfriend by keeping quiet, the end product was ‘really damaging in terms of trust’.
When sex therapist Lohani Noor digs deeper into Louisa and Nick’s relationship, it becomes clear there is an ‘unresolved issue’ between the pair
Through tears, Nick says he’s ‘terribly sorry’, but claims Louisa often tells him she doesn’t believe him when he apologises.
He adds: ‘I wanted to go away and be someone Lou can be proud of.’
When the couple first got together, Nick says ‘the passion burned brighter and brighter and it was amazing’.
But since they began cohabiting, he reveals they don’t have sex ‘anywhere near as often’ as they used to, adding: ‘It’s not often at all now.’
He admits that, unlike Louisa, he prefers intercourse to foreplay and is put off oral sex due to his lack of experience.
Louisa, 30 and Nick, 34, who have been together five years after meeting at a publishing house where they both worked in 2014, admit they hardly ever have sex anymore since moving in together
To encourage Louisa and Nick to reconnect, Lohani suggests the couple try giving each other a massage as ‘homework’
‘I have gone down on females a couple of times and I told Louisa I was good at it, but I’m probably not as good as I make out, and in our relationship I’ve never given Louisa oral sex because I feel like I would be completely rubbish at it,’ he says.
‘When things get a bit frisky, I feel horny and I want to make love to her.’
Louisa says this attitude doesn’t make her excited about being intimate.
To encourage them to reconnect, Lohani suggests the couple try giving each other a massage as ‘homework’.
But when they return to the clinic, Louisa reveals that they rowed over what massage oil Nick was using.
‘I’d read not to put essential oils on the skin, and that’s when I knew Nicholas hadn’t really looked into stuff as he was about to put the essential oil on my skin, so I had to step in,’ she says.
New BBC3 reality series Sex on the Couch sees couples visit a specially constructed clinic to open up about their relationship woes and inject intimacy back into their relationships. Pictured (left to right) are sex therapists Lohani Noor, Silva Neves, Dr Roberta Babband Kate Moyle
‘We had an agreement and I can’t rely on Nicholas to stick to it, it feels like he doesn’t think of me.’
This discussion prompts Lohani to ask about the trust in their relationship, which triggers Nick’s emotional confession.
Louisa says she worries the two of them aren’t on the same page – so can they get their relationship back on track?
Sex on the Couch airs on BBC3 on Friday 26 April at 11:25pm.
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