My best friend told me she can’t find a boyfriend so I advised her to ‘shave’ and now she won’t talk to me – but people say I’m right

• The woman took to Reddit to explain her pal had ghosted her since the incident 
• READ MORE: Expert reveals 7 coping tips to navigate a friendship split

A woman has revealed her best friend stopped talking to her after she advised her to ‘shave’ so that she’d look more attractive to men.

The 29-year-old took to US forum Reddit to seek advice on how to rekindle the friendship with her ‘amazing’ friend ‘Emily’, 32, who she said refused to shave in ‘protest to the patriarchy’. She added that her friend had stopped shaving years ago, which resulted in the growth of ‘very long dark hair’ across her legs, armpits and ‘female areas’.

Fast forward to a few days ago, while the pair were catching up over a few beers, her bestie revealed how ‘sad’ dating had made her and that men rarely requested a second date. 

To remedy the situation, the poster suggested her pal ‘shave’ off her body hair, after which the pal accused her of being the reason why women are ‘suppressed’. Although she later apologized, she has since been met with a wall of silence. 

The tale swayed many, with some saying her advice was ‘correct’ while others sided with her best friend. She explained: ‘My friend, let’s call her Emily is an amazing person.

A woman who advised her pal to ‘shave’ so she could finally get a boyfriend says the pal has stopped talking to her (Pictured: Stock image of warring pals)

‘She’s fun, adventurous, intelligent, super active, a fantastic cook, outgoing and just a great girl to be around. 

‘A few years ago she decided not to shave anymore (legs, armpits, female areas) out of protest to the patriarchy, resulting in her having very long dark hair everywhere.

‘A few days ago, we were having a beer and she told me how sad her dating life was, that she kept meeting guys and having very fun dates but never got a call back. 

‘Or when she tried asking for a second or third date, got rejected in a very generic manner’.

The woman said she first tried complimenting her friend before ‘going out on a limb’ to offer the controversial advice.

She continued: ‘Now after telling her “you’re so gorgeous and wonderful, the right man will come don’t worry” multiple times, I decided to go out on a limb.

‘I said something along the lines of “I know this is a very superficial thing to say, but do you think it might help a little if you would shave?“

‘She was very taken aback and told me she was disappointed I would suggest she change her appearance for men and that I was the reason so many women were suppressed.

The 29-year-old took to US forum Reddit to seek advice on how to rekindle the friendship with her ‘amazing’ friend ‘Emily’, 32, who she said refused to shave in ‘protest to the patriarchy’

‘I immediately apologized but the evening was pretty much ruined. I texted her the next day apologizing again for hurting her but she hasn’t replied’.

The woman appeared genuinely saddened by the matter and stated that she never set out to intentionally ‘hurt’ her friend.

However she also sought advice on how to frame her next apology because she didn’t see the comment as ‘that bad’. 

Almost 7000 comments poured in, with users eager to weigh in on the sensitive topic.

One person declared it was as much a woman’s ‘right’ not to shave as it was a man’s right to find it ‘gross’. They explained: ‘She has the right not to shave, and the men she dates have the right to think it’s gross. People are attracted to what they are attracted to. That’s just reality. If she wants a man who doesn’t mind that she doesn’t shave, that will be a much smaller percentage of the male dating pool and it will be more difficult for her to find a partner.

‘If she was asking for your advice and you were trying to help her, then you’re not the a**hole. Especially because you are likely right and the hair is the reason the men are not staying. I think it’s silly that she is mad at you for just stating the obvious truth.

‘Editing to add: After thinking about this more, I am thinking that yes, the guys don’t like the hair, but the fact that she has it is probably really a symptom of her personality and outlook on life and general opinions, and those things are probably the even bigger turn off for these guys’.

They concluded: ‘And I will also now add (since some people are assuming things) that I am not saying that the men are RIGHT to have this view of a her, or that I agree with that view. I am merely pointing out that based on my lifelong observations of guys, a general/average aversion to that type of viewpoint (“I don’t shave to fight the patriarchy”) may be why some guys aren’t staying. You may not like that, but that is the reality we live in. There are guys out there who won’t feel that way, and that is who she would likely prefer’.

Siding with the poster, one person said: ‘You just suggested the reason she may be having problems with dating. You are also probably correct. 

‘Of course she is free to do whatever she wants with her body and they may not meet others preferences, which means they may not want to date her. This may mean they miss out on a great person for superficial reasons but that is a choice they are free to make’.

Meanwhile one woman explained that ‘leg and arm hair’ hadn’t gotten in the way of her ‘loving relationship’ and advised the poster to be a more ‘supportive’: ‘I have leg and arm hair, and I am in a loving relationship with a man who is holding me as he’s sleeping. 

‘If I would have listened to you, I would have been making myself uncomfortable for someone who doesn’t care one way or another. A more supportive thing to say would have been: “you’ll find someone perfect for you, just keep working on yourself and the rest will fall into place.” 

She definitely wasn’t asking for advice, just wanted some emotional support from a friend. The world tries to pressure women into conforming to shaving, and I’m sure it hurt to hear a friend also try to do the same’.

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