My husband will shift between telling me he loves me and saying he wants a divorce | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T know whether I am coming or going in my relationship.

My husband will flit between telling me he loves me and wants to make a go of things, and saying he isn’t in love with me any more, so we should divorce.

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I’m 38 and he’s 43. We have been married for nine years, with no kids.

He is often depressed and I have always been there for him.

Yesterday, he told me for the third time in two years that he wants to be on his own.

This time I was as angry as I was upset.

How can someone just switch from one feeling to another?

Is his idea of love so shallow?

Sometimes I think that he needs me, but doesn’t actually care about me very much.

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I wonder if it’s time for me to walk away.

But I worry about his mental health if I do.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband may not mean to be cruel, but depression is not an excuse for treating someone poorly.

And you cannot stay unhappy because you’re worried about him.

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Some relationship counselling would allow you both to talk through your feelings and work out whether you can reconnect .

Contact Tavistock Relationships (, 020 7380 1960) who have online help available.

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