DEAR DEIDRE: I DON’T know whether I am coming or going in my relationship.
My husband will flit between telling me he loves me and wants to make a go of things, and saying he isn’t in love with me any more, so we should divorce.
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I’m 38 and he’s 43. We have been married for nine years, with no kids.
He is often depressed and I have always been there for him.
Yesterday, he told me for the third time in two years that he wants to be on his own.
This time I was as angry as I was upset.
How can someone just switch from one feeling to another?
Is his idea of love so shallow?
Sometimes I think that he needs me, but doesn’t actually care about me very much.
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I wonder if it’s time for me to walk away.
But I worry about his mental health if I do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband may not mean to be cruel, but depression is not an excuse for treating someone poorly.
And you cannot stay unhappy because you’re worried about him.
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Some relationship counselling would allow you both to talk through your feelings and work out whether you can reconnect .
Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960) who have online help available.
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