DEAR DEIDRE: WATCHING my young son finally bond with my girlfriend gave me so much joy – until one day he decided he wanted nothing to do with her.
I can’t understand what changed or where this came from, but it’s really starting to get me down.
I’m 32, my girlfriend is 29, and we’ve been together for a year and a half. I have one son, who is four, from a previous relationship.
For more than six months, I held off introducing them because I didn’t want to confuse him.
When they finally met, he was shy and a bit wary, but over time he grew to really love her.
Everything was falling into place until one day he became jealous and stand-offish.
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He wouldn’t even make eye contact with her and every time she showed affection towards me, he would cry and make a fuss.
None of this makes sense. He has never acted this way before.
A part of me wonders if my ex has planted something in his mind.
It’s really beginning to affect my relationship with my girlfriend.
Please help, as I’m at a loss.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Introducing a new partner to your children is a big deal, especially if the child is young.
It’s likely your son is struggling with the changes and he may not be ready to move on or accept the new family dynamic.
Try to talk to your ex about it. She might be able to offer some insight. See if together you can come up with strategies to ensure he feels secure and loved at both your homes.
Why not sit down with your son and explain to him that you love him and that having your new girlfriend around will never change that?
Over time, it is likely he will come back around. I’m sending you my support pack Stepfamily Problems to help.
You can also contact Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222) for more support.
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