So, we’re all watching Suits again. Why?

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Cast your mind back to 2011. Poet Laureate Katy Perry released her single Firework. Prince William became Mr Kate Middleton. Peplums were a viable fashion option for those who wished to wear a small skirt above a larger skirt. Now, crack out your iPhone 4s, because we’ve gone back in time.

For four weeks running, the US legal sitcom Suits has racked up a record-breaking more than 3 billion minutes of streaming around the world after moving to Netflix and Peacock. This is great news unless you wrote for the show and have to split your residual cheque worth less than $3,000 between the six of you.

The series ran for nine seasons, ending in 2019. I hadn’t seen an episode but as I have an inbuilt FOMO mechanism, I decided to jump on the cultural bandwagon by watching the first and last. Comparing them is like comparing apples to a writhing bucket of snakes. But I think this viewing experience gives me a bird’s-eye view of the SCU.

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Do I have gaps in my Suits knowledge? Objection! (see? I have legal know-how, your honour). True, I do have some remaining questions about the show. Like what happened to Gina Torres? And why is Donna, the best character, only communicating in gentle whispers by the end of the show’s run? But from watching episode 1 and episode 134, here is what I could ascertain…

Suits takes place in a parallel universe where HR does not exist. It follows a lawyer named Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht) who is mean but has a strong jawline. He commits several crimes in both episodes, but everyone says he’s the best closer in town, so it is justified. Which town I hear you ask? They never say, but everything is charcoal and beige.

The catalyst for the show is Harvey Suits meets an identical-looking, younger version of himself (Patrick J. Adams). It took me 10 minutes to realise there were two people in the scene and not a grown man going full Smeagol mode. This clone is carrying a comical amount of marijuana in a briefcase. This impresses Harvey because he loves to add to his Big List O’ Crime. Through the magic of remembering things, white privilege, and being unlikeable, this man becomes Suits Junior. Meghan Markle dazzles in the first episode as a character with no name. But it’s nice to see where the Queen of England got her start. There’s also a man called Louis (Rick Hoffman) who we’re told is the villain, even though he commits the least number of crimes in the pilot. However, by the end of the show, Louis is wearing a top hat, and he isn’t even attending a costume party, so I have no love for this man.

The two main suits are on a mission to win the law. Along the way, they make friends with lawyers, but never, ever with a woman lawyer. Women exist in the show to give sage advice, be hot, be an obstacle, or some combination of the three.

As with Leonardo DiCaprio, the show has dated beyond its years. Though it only ended a mere pandemic ago, it is a baffling show by modern standards. It was conceived at a time when a man in a suit saying “awesome” was an entire personality. Never in my life have I heard the phrase “on the line” deployed with such frequency. So, why are we all watching it? The obvious answer to this is nostalgia. We know that a familiar TV show can bring comfort and I would never want to deny someone that feeling, but we really should question what we find comfort in.

Comedy ages like milk. There are jokes I’ve put out into the world that haunt me at night. Back when appointment TV was king, your show would eventually be lost to the annals of time like a pandora charm in the wind. I’m certain if the writers and makers of Suits had their time again, they would make some changes. So, why is it that we are digging up this relic?

This show is the most infuriating male power fantasy. And I say that with a deep love for the male power fantasy genre. I love some dude media; give me a Grindhouse flick any day of the week. But I want better for my dudes than this. I hope that Suits isn’t aspirational for today’s men.

Mr Suits and Suits Junior are merciless clout vacuums. Their goal is not attainable, because they don’t have a goal to attain. It’s just a matter of running out the clock and collecting as much power and status on the way as humanly possible. This isn’t to imply that shows that are problematic by today’s standards can’t be reobserved through a critical lens, but rather to question what joy we get from this in the first place. To me, this isn’t a comforting world in which to spend 45 minutes.

I believe that our “just watched” page on a streaming service is the truest reflection of the id. Freud would have loved seeing just how many episodes of Is It Cake? I crammed into an afternoon. It’s funny because my mother was made of cake. So, when we look back at the views of yesterday, we need to ask ourselves if this reflects the person we want to be tomorrow. So, when it comes to Suits, I think I’m going to have to quote Mr Suits himself and say, “case dismissed!”

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