By the time they sound the all-clear, normal British wind and drizzle will resume. What a waste.
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We have been incarcerated by experts who allowed a non-epidemic with a comparatively low death rate to crash our way of life, wreck jobs and prosperity — and put far more lives at risk from other causes.
Now people are taking matters into their own hands.
Police stand idle as frustrated citizens cry freedom, tear down the Covid Wall and burst on to streets, beaches and parks.
Millions stomped over today’s official deadline and spent the whole weekend mixing with friends and family.
If the pubs can’t open, they bring their own.
In a surprise but welcome move on Sunday, 2.2million shielded people were told their self-isolation is over.
Officials are rushing to keep up. But they need to move faster.
They must clear up the anomalies and inconsistencies that turn us all into rule-breaking rebels.
Why, for instance, are public toilets closed, forcing people to use bushes and trees for cover?
“Sorry for the inconvenience” won’t wash.
Why are gyms and swimming pools closed? What about hairdressers?
Why should we risk two weeks’ quarantine for flying on holiday?
And why, in God’s name, are churches closed?
Most importantly, why do we cling to the daft two-metre rule?
Boris Johnson wants it reduced but is barred by Sage, the bickering coven of experts that holds Downing Street hostage.
The World Health Organisation recommends one metre.
This would allow a massive 75 per cent more floorspace per person — a lifesaver for pubs, restaurants, sports stadiums and a return to near-normal life.
Indeed, it is already happening.
On parks and riverbanks, people casually brush shoulders just to keep pedestrian traffic flowing. Few bother with masks. But they desperately need loos.
All of a sudden, politicians are asking if lockdown was necessary after all.
Norwegian PM Erna Solberg on Sunday became the first national leader to confess hers was a panic-driven mistake.
“Was it necessary to close schools?” she asked.
“Perhaps not. I probably took many of the decisions out of fear.”
Next-door Sweden famously refused to lock down.
Its death rate from coronavirus, higher than Norway’s, is well below Britain’s.
HOW DID WE END UP IN THIS STATE?
To be fair, nobody knew three months ago if we faced a 21st-century Black Death.
We were spooked by the authoritarian response in Wuhan province, China, where Covid-19 began.
We’ve learned a lot since then.
We know those most at risk have pre-existing health problems, which include obesity, diabetes and old age — which is no consolation, of course, to those who die before their time. Children who have lost a term’s schooling are effectively immune and don’t spread the virus.
We know thousands are missing life-saving early diagnosis and treatment for non-Covid diseases.
We know depression, drugs and domestic abuse are costing lives.
Yet there are virtually no new cases of Covid outside hospitals and care homes.
Scientists think the virus was already petering out as the world pulled down the shutters.
They can find no evidence that ending lockdown leads to a deadly second wave.
How did we end up in this state of paralysed confusion?
The question must be put as soon as possible to a public inquiry led by a figure of impeccable authority.
It will inevitably focus on “the Blob” — the well-meaning but short-sighted officials who think they run the country.
If the inquiry does its job, it will shake up the vast NHS bureaucracy, bungling Public Health England and the poorly named Sage committee of scientific experts.
It will find out if the so-called Care Quality Commission let down care homes and why the Cabinet Office Civil Contingencies Secretariat was caught with its pants down.
It will swiftly provide the basis for a shake-up of the entire civil service, whose mandarin class desperately needs reform as Britain takes on the world after Brexit.
Luvvies keep on losing
LABOUR’S seething, self-righteous, Brexit-hating luvvies have done us a favour with the confected Dominic Cummings saga.
Their foam-flecked four-letter fury is matched only by their hypocrisy.
Alastair Campbell is a sad relic of his former self. Newsnight’s Emily Maitlis has removed all doubt about her rancid Tory hatred.
They are as much to blame for the spiteful mob outside Cummings’ home as beneath-contempt Emily Thornberry.
But they all come last behind self-described “farting fatty” Miriam Margolyes, who wished Boris Johnson dead as he fought for breath in intensive care.
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