Royal commentator Jennie Bond is in the running for the Telegraph’s most delusional royal expert. I’m fully expecting lots of commemoration-columns for QEII as we come up on the first death-anniversary, but I truly didn’t expect it to be framed as “Prince Harry’s one year of estrangement.” The man has been living in North America for nearly four years, but sure. Bond questions, “Harry is continuing to maintain a distance from his father and brother – but what are the effects of ripping up family roots?” Like… anyone who read Spare can tell you exactly why Harry left Britain and why he’s trying to break the cycle of generational trauma. Neglected and abused after his mother’s death, he found ways to heal himself and he’s on his journey to find peace and happiness with the love of his life and their two beautiful children. His story is one of resilience and courage to break those toxic familial bonds. But of course, Jennie Bond quoted an “expert” at length to basically argue that Harry should “come back” pronto. Some highlights:
A complete estrangement: Almost one year on from the funeral of his grandmother, the late Queen, his estrangement from his entire UK family seems complete. He will be in London next month for a charity awards ceremony on the eve of the anniversary of her death, but it is understood he has no plans to see his father, the King, or his brother Prince William. Instead he will head straight off to Düsseldorf for the opening of the Invictus Games for wounded servicemen and women, which he founded nine years ago.
Bitter Meghan? He has planted his own sapling 5,000 miles away in California. His children, Archie and Lilibet, are putting down American roots and will be the first branches of a new tree. But with their mother, Meghan, bitterly estranged from almost the whole of her own family (except for her mother and a niece) that tree looks decidedly sparse.
No thriving unless it’s in the UK, apparently: In an interview which kicked off the whole saga of Harry and Meghan’s unhappiness in the royal fold, the Duchess said, “It’s not enough to just survive. You’ve got to thrive.” But can you easily thrive in self-imposed exile from all you have known since birth? And how much harder must it be when you are part of one of the most exclusive and mysterious tribes on earth: a royal family, steeped in a thousand years of history?
An expert: An expert in the field of human development, Professor Karl Pillemer, from Cornell University in New York, believes the emotional impact must be enormous. “Whether you have originated the estrangement, or you’re on the receiving end of it, people often feel betrayed, rejected, hurt, angry and resentful,” Professor Pillemer says. “They feel the pain of broken attachment. We have strong biologically-based attachment responses – those don’t just go away..Family events are a flashpoint for estrangement. They are filled with expectations of a happy family together, and that is entirely violated with estrangement. And if you don’t attend, there is a profound sense of loss.”
King Charles evicted his grandchildren, but whatever: How sad that little Archie and Lilibet have no prospect at present of getting to know their tribe… on either side of the Atlantic. And what a dreadful loss for King Charles. Bizarrely, Harry and Meghan have chosen to give their children their “tribal identity” insisting they be known as Prince and Princess – and, of course, Lilibet is named after her great grandmother Queen Elizabeth. Professor Pillemer believes it is the children who may prompt a reconciliation. “Many estranged people begin to open up the relationship again, because they want their own children to have relationships with the rest of the family. And Harry and Megan’s children are going to be reaching an age where they’re going to begin asking, ‘Why don’t we see our relatives? I’m certain, they [Harry and Megan] must be considering the impact on their own children.”
They’re saying Harry is headed for a breakdown: Professor Pillemer believes that fragile mental health can be made worse by estrangement. “There will likely be an array of emotional effects for Prince Harry and his family that include the pain of rejection, a sense of betrayal, a profound sense of loss, and most likely, a greater likelihood towards depression and anxiety as a result of this kind of relationship trauma.”
[From The Telegraph]
It feels so childish to argue that, because Harry adored and loved his grandmother, he’s supposed to be cool with being neglected and abused by his father and brother. That’s the argument here – you say you love one member of the family, so isn’t it hypocritical to remain estranged from other members of the family? Like… what is wrong with these people? It’s so silly and pathetic to argue that every family has to stay rooted in one place, forever, and that every family member has to be in each other’s lives and no one is ever allowed to disagree or move or break a toxic family cycle. What f–king world do these people live in? (Also: they truly have no idea about Meghan’s family, they only know the toxic Markles – Meghan has Ragland relatives who have never sold her out.)
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
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