CRAIG BROWN: How Pippa Middleton wore pink hot pants at Kate’s wedding
Ridley Scott’s new film Napoleon has been heavily criticised for its historical inaccuracies.
Critics claim Napoleon did not witness the execution of Marie Antoinette and that he never took part in cavalry charges or fired a cannon at the pyramids.
The debate continues…
Dear Sir, I have just been to see Joaquin Phoenix in Napoleon. I was appalled by the historical blunders.
In one scene, Napoleon visits a state penitentiary and plays country songs to the inmates. In another, he is arrested in Memphis, Tennessee, for possession of drugs.
‘Courtiers have tried to air-brush this scene from history, but I am determined to show it, even if it means ruffling a few feathers’ Pictured: Pippa Middleton
Having searched high and low in countless biographies of Napoleon, I can find no evidence that these events ever occurred.
Similarly, Josephine, played by Reese Witherspoon, never duetted with Napoleon onstage.
For how much longer will we let Holly- wood ride roughshod over history?
F. Lummox.
Sir: The scenes mentioned by Mr Lummox come from the 2006 movie Walk The Line, in which Joaquin Phoenix played country music singer Johnny Cash, not Napoleon, and Reese Witherspoon played his wife, June Carter.
Might he have taken a wrong turning at his local multiplex?
I.M. Nitt-Picker.
Sir: Fair point. But it’s high time the Government forced multiplex cinemas to signpost more clearly the correct auditoriums for the films they show.
Just last week, I was appalled to see Mary Poppins twisting and turning on her bed, spewing foul language at a priest.
It was only on the way out that I realised I had taken a wrong turn in the foyer, and had been watching the new Exorcist movie. Yet they refused to refund my payment.
F. Lummox.
Sir: In the latest episode of The Crown, the Queen slams her tea mug down on the kitchen table and says to the Prince of Wales: ‘Ay-oop oor Chas, ye’ve made a right pig’s-dinner of yon marriage and no mistake!’
To me, this doesn’t quite have the ring of truth.
I was also surprised by the scene in which a jockey turns up late for a race but the 93-year-old Queen Mother steps in at the last minute and rides her horse Special Cargo to victory at Sandown. I can well believe that Princess Anne was a valued member of the crew of Apollo 13, and that Prince Philip was spotted lurking behind a hedge on Dealey Plaza on the morning of November 22, 1963, but did Prince Edward really take the lead role in Phantom Of The Opera on Broadway?
Reg Simple.
Sir: In the 1995 biopic Braveheart, I was fascinated to learn how Scottish warrior William Wallace, played by Mel Gibson, led a secret raid on Windsor Castle.
At the last minute, using nothing more than a longbow and a Colt 45, Braveheart manages to save Boadicea from being beheaded by King Henry VIII.
So-called ‘experts’ have since tried to pour cold water on this scene, suggesting that it couldn’t possibly have happened. But what do they know? Were they there?
Of course they weren’t!
Next they’ll try telling us that between the two of them, Sir Winston Churchill (Brad Pitt) and Mrs Pankhurst (Scarlett Johansson) didn’t see off the Spanish Armada!
Graham Smallhead.
Sir: I am currently writing the final series of The Crown. As is well known, at the wedding of William and Kate, Pippa Middleton attempts to steal the show from her sister by parading up and down the aisle of Westminster Abbey wearing bright pink hot pants and a wet T-shirt.
Courtiers have tried to air-brush this scene from history, but I am determined to show it, even if it means ruffling a few feathers.
‘As is well known, at the wedding of William and Kate, Pippa Middleton attempts to steal the show from her sister’
Critics claim Napoleon did not witness the execution of Marie Antoinette and that he never took part in cavalry charges or fired a cannon at the pyramids
I would be delighted to hear from anyone who was present on that historic day, as they could also tell me about how Elton John drowned out the Archbishop of Canterbury’s speech by playing Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting at full blast on the Abbey organ.
Yours sincerely, Peter Morgan.
Sir: Having just returned from Ridley Scott’s new film Napoleon, I was disappointed to see that the fighter planes he showed in the skies above Waterloo were all Spitfires. Any schoolboy knows that Hurricanes were also used.
Also, when Napoleon said his famous line: ‘My horse! My horse! My kingdom for a horse!’ I detected a trace of an American accent, whereas everyone knows Napoleon was born in Liverpool, which is how he came to share a school bus with John Lennon.
Yours ever, Ronald Daft.
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