DEAR JANE: I bought my wife Botox for Christmas – now she wants a divorce
- In her latest agony aunt column, best-selling author Jane Green gives advice to a husband who fears his Christmas gesture to his wife has ruined his marriage
- Do you have a question for Jane? Email [email protected] or ask it below
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For the past few years now, my wife has been complaining about how her looks have changed as she’s aged, admitting to me that she’s lost her confidence because of her ‘sagging skin and wrinkles’ – and, while I reassured her that she still looks wonderful, I thought it might be an idea to give her a bit of a boost in the form of her Christmas gift this year.
So I spoke to a few of her friends about good locations near our home for plastic surgeons and purchased her a Botox and filler package, which the staff assured me would work wonders for transforming her appearance and helping her to recapture her youth.
To be clear, I’d never push my wife into getting any kind of cosmetic treatment, but she’s been so upset about her looks for so long now, I really thought this would be the thing to lift her spirits.
Dear Jane, I bought my wife Botox for Christmas because she said she hates the way she looks – she was furious and is now threatening to kick me out of our home
I knew she’d never make such an expensive purchase by herself and thought this was something nice I could do for her.
However, my dream of surprising her on Christmas Day was ripped away from me when the med spa I’d bought her package from accidentally emailed her the information ahead of time, effectively giving the game away.
So I figured I’d just tell her all about it a few weeks early, and give her the chance to pamper herself in time for the holiday season.
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ most burning issues in her Dear Jane agony aunt column
But instead of being grateful or excited, my wife was furious with me. She accused me of making her feel ugly, told me that I obviously think she looks hideous, and that if I want a trophy wife, I should just end our marriage now and join a dating app for sugar daddies.
She even threatened to kick me out of the house.
It’s been a few days now and she still hasn’t calmed down. And what’s even worse, she cries every time she goes near a mirror.
I’ve tried talking to her to make her see my side of things – and prove to her that I think she’s beautiful no matter what age she’s at – but she won’t speak with me.
I’m really not sure where to go from here but I have a horrible feeling I’ve ruined Christmas.
Not So Merry or Bright
Dear Not So Merry or Bright,
I’m sorry you may have ruined Christmas, and I’m sorry your wife has taken such an emotional stance when you listened to what she was saying, and gave her the specific thing that you thought would bring her joy.
It’s a bit of a fine old mess, but honestly, not your fault. I would sit this one out, letting her cry as she sees fit.
It all seems a bit over-emotional, so the best advice I can give is to stop engaging, and stop playing the part you are playing in this particular dance, reassuring and apologizing when you thought you were doing the right thing.
The two of you could presumably carry on like this through New Year, which won’t be much fun for anyone.
If you haven’t calmly apologized and explained that you bought the Botox after she made the comments about her sagging skin, do so, and tell her you’re happy to discuss it, but you’re not going to engage in a drama that is not of your making.
Disengage. I hope your Christmas is merry, and feel free to send the Botox and fillers to your favorite agony aunt.
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