A mother wants me to make my child's party food gluten and dairy free

A mother asked me to make all food at my daughter’s birthday party gluten and dairy-free because of her son’s allergies – people are saying I should uninvite her child

  • On Mumsnet the mum explained she doesn’t want to make all food dairy free
  • Read More: My sister-in-law demanded I make our Christmas dinner dairy free 

A mother planning her daughter’s birthday party has revealed she has been irked by another parent’s request to make the food gluten and dairy-free. 

Taking to British parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman explained that the mother of one of her daughter’s friends made a special request ahead of the birthday party, because her son has allergies. 

The mother planning the party explained she’s more than happy to cater for dietary requirements, but added the other mother asked her to make all of the food at the event gluten-free and dairy-free in cas her son eats it. 

In particular, she is making her daughter’s birthday cake from scratch and said she has ‘no desire’ to learn how to bake it with a gluten and dairy-free recipe.  

After asking others for their opinions, the mother received plenty of support – and some even said she should go as far as uninviting the child with allergies. 

A woman revealed on Mumsnet that a parent has requested she make all her daughters party food gluten and dairy free because their child has an allergy (stock image) 

The post read: ‘[My daughter’s] birthday party coming up and have asked attendees for allergies/dietary requirements. Had the usual list back – some veggie, one no pork, one nut allergy, one gluten free + dairy allergy. 

‘I said – no problem, we will make sure that there are options for all but will be parents’ responsibility to ensure children are eating the correct thing (kids will be aged two to five). 

‘It will be “normal” kids’ party food – sandwiches, crisps, vegetable sticks, fruit, yoghurt etc.

‘Had a reply separately from parent of gluten free/dairy allergy saying, “Sorry to be difficult, but we need there to be no gluten or dairy served at all – it’s too dangerous for X as we can’t guarantee he won’t eat it. Sure you understand, thanks xx”.’

She continued: ‘Am I being unreasonable to say that this just doesn’t work for us? I’m making the cake and have no idea how (or have any desire to learn) to make a nice gluten free / dairy free option. 

‘I was planning to buy little gluten-free vegan cupcakes so that there is something there for the others, but my daughter has requested a specific thing for her birthday which I’ve already started prepping.’

Many suggested that it was ‘ridiculous’ for the child’s mother to suggest that everyone at the party has to eat restricted food because of her son’s allergy. 

One person said: ‘As the parent of a child who would end up in hospital if you get it wrong I’d rather supply my own food, and did for all primary aged parties. So you’re not being unreasonable. Tell them you don’t want the responsibility.’

Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet , the woman explained that she is willing to cater for all dietary requirements but doesn’t want to make all the food gluten and dairy free

Many were on the mums side with some saying it is the child with the allergies mother who should take responsibility for her own kid

Another agreed saying: ‘Ridiculous for the mother to impose a restriction on everyone else.

‘Tell her no you can’t do that but she is willing to stay and provide her child with her own food.’

Someone else said: ‘Have they not been to a birthday party before? They can’t expect parents to cater like that at every party their child goes to. They should take their own food and monitor their child.’

While another wrote: ‘Just say that you will do what you can to eliminate x contamination but it’s not possible for you to make the entire party gf / df as your child wants her favourite foods at their party .’

Others suggested she should ‘uninvite’ the child with the allergies if she is going to be too much hassle. 

One person said: ‘Text her you will have to uninvite child as you can’t guarantee. She is more than welcome to come and stay and supervise her child.’ 

Another said: ‘Say “It’s a shame if you can’t make it but we understand if it’s too much of a risk”.’ 

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