I'm questioning my whole marriage after my grim discovery | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: AN old letter confirmed my suspicions that my husband had cheated with my best friend – and she had tried to stop our wedding.

We have been happily married for 35 years. He is 65 and I’m 67.

My sister-in-law has just been to Scotland and one of her photos was at a landmark where we’d had our picture taken on our honeymoon.

I went upstairs to find the image to show her. I pulled out a box of photos from under my husband’s side of the bed and tucked up at one side was an envelope.

I recognised the writing as that of my old friend Liz.

Her letter read: “You know we’ve got a good thing going on (and I don’t just mean the amazing sex). Please think about what you’re doing.” I felt sick.

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It was dated four months before our wedding day. She was my chief bridesmaid too.

My husband acted very strangely around that time.

He became cool with me and I thought he was getting cold feet about the wedding.

A tiny doubt did make me question how much they both got on.

Now I wonder if he was ever happy with me. I see Liz every week in town when we go shopping. Now I can’t face her.

My sister-in-law saw I had been crying but I’ve sworn her to secrecy. She has tried to pacify me but I feel I need extra help.

My husband knows that I’m being off-hand with him.

What shall I do?


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DEIDRE SAYS:  You have to talk to your husband. If you don’t say anything, this will fester and you’ll feel worse.

Now your sister-in-law knows, these things have a habit of coming out so speak to him sooner rather than later.

What’s important is that you’ve had 35 years together. You have enjoyed a happy marriage and he probably feels the same.

Liz has been a good friend and although this seems like a huge betrayal, my guess is that her life will have moved on such a lot since this fling and she probably feels very guilty.

It would be good if you could talk to somebody impartial.

My Cheating support pack will show you how to tackle this with your husband and where you can find emotional support.

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