When former Dancing On Ice champion Alex Murphy ties the knot before a star-studded congregation, including Torvill and Dean, this winter it won’t just be her dream day – but a reminder of how far she’s come.
For the pro-skater, who’s marrying YouTube star Paul Klein at Hertfordshire stately home Ashridge House, was just 24 years-old when she had a stroke.
The experience left her paralysed and fearing she’d never walk – let alone skate – again. 11 years on, she insists she won’t let it define her.
She famously won the UK version of Dancing On Ice with Joe Swash three years ago, despite living with chronic fatigue and admitting to gruelling days during training.
Today, speaking to raise awareness for World Stroke Day this Sunday (29th) Alex, admits: “There was a time I honestly thought I might not be alive to see this day at all.
“My dad had a stroke a year and a half after me too. We both have the hereditary heart condition, PFO. We have a dry sense of humour.
“He always jokes, ‘any day above ground’s a good day’ and, ‘Look. Not dead. Another year!”. But it’s that kind of attitude that has carried me through.
“So it’s amazing to think I’m actually getting married. I think that’s really a big thing for my parents too, when they think, ‘god, look, she’s actually walking down the aisle after everything’.”
Alex, who now mentors other young stroke survivors, is Ambassador for Style For Stroke – a charity set up in 2018 by her good friend Nick Ede, a PR and brand expert whose mother died from stroke.
Nick has support from droves of other celebrities too, including Game Of Thrones star Emilia Clarke, who is also a stroke survivor at 37 and Naomie Harris OBE, who recently posted her support for his campaign on social media.
Like them, Alex’s hope is that speaking more openly about strokes will make people be aware of the symptoms and it will be less stigmatised among younger people.
Her own experience of stroke came, as it does for many, out of the blue.
She was working as a professional skater on board a cruise ship, making its way across the Atlantic Ocean. She’d been performing on board for ten months.
It was 6th November 2012 and she’d just taken her final bow, but skating off the ice she started to feel numb in her right foot and her right hand wasn’t working.
Before she knew it her face was drooping. A concerned cast mate summoned help and she was wheel-chaired to the ship’s doctor, still in the skates she couldn’t un-tie. After that she draws a blank.
She recalls: “When I had my stroke I lost all consciousness. I couldn't walk. I couldn't communicate with anyone for eight hours but I could see everything going on around me.
“It was like I was in a bubble and that was absolutely terrifying."
She was later transferred from the ship to hospital in Tenerife for further tests. Scans later showed she had a hole in her heart. She had lengthy surgery on 19th November – the same day she was called up to take place in Dancing On Ice in the Netherlands.
She says: “When I was in the neurological ward the second oldest person to me in hospital was 67. It just didn’t happen to people like me. I didn’t know anything about what a stroke was.
“A year and a half later my dad had a stroke and if my mum hadn’t acted so quickly, because she knew the signs having seen me go through it, he would have died. My mum most definitely saved my dad’s life. And he had the same condition.
“The scariest thing, after a stroke on the ice, was overcoming that fear of going back onto the ice. But my mum was adamant, saying, ‘no, you’re going to get back to it.’
“It was that sort of power of positivity that got me through. Having that great family support system around me meant that I didn't slide into an ugly, deep depression.
"Dancing On Ice actually saved me because I had to push through. By December 15th I was back on the ice. As my partner was learning to skate, I was re-learning myself. I had to rewire and re-learn everything from walking to driving too."
According to the Stroke Association, about 100,000 people have strokes every year in the UK. Strokes strike every five minutes. There are 1.3million stroke survivors in the UK.
Of those who survive, almost two-thirds experience disability, including muscle weakness or paralysis, visual problems and other effects such as bladder and bowel problems.
A third of survivors have some form of communication problem, such as difficulty speaking or understanding language.
At 35, Alex bears few physical reminders of her stroke. But there are long-term effects.
She says: “I have chronic fatigue and I have severe brain fog, so memorising things takes a lot longer. My biggest thing now is cognitive and I know I was so fortunate not to have more physical effects.
“I have tingling and numbness in my right side and teeny tiny things I don’t even classify as a symptom. But some days are just harder than others.”
It was in 2020 – the same year she went on to win Dancing On Ice with Joe Swash – that Alex met Paul, on the TV series Celebrity Coach Trip.
The YouTube millionaire, famed for being one half of social media duo Woody & Kleiny, is known to over 14.8million subscribers for his humorous set-ups.
But, for Alex, it was his supportive nature that made her sure he was the right person.
She says: “I don’t think he understands the gravity of how bad it [stroke] was but he’s so empathetic. If I say, ‘listen, it’s stroke brain today. I can’t focus,' he’ll say, ‘Okay. What do you need?’.”
Despite her stellar performances during Dancing On Ice, and passion for the job, few people behind-the-scenes knew just how much she was suffering.
She says: “I remember doing the Christmas show for Dancing On Ice with Michael Barrymore, before he was injured and Joe Swash and I were paired.
“I remember a very long filming day and the fatigue was so overwhelming and I had a migraine from the wig.
“And I remember lying on the floor with my feet up because the numbness was coming and I was having massive anxiety about trying to keep it together.
“I was so tired it was like a form of torture for me. I remember thinking, I’ve just got to get through the next hour.”
Although she’s born in Boston, she now lives with Paul, 31, and their beloved puppy, Tony, in Hertfordshire and is gearing up for their big day.
Among the congregation will be, among others, the Dancing On Ice physio Sharon Morrison, who was Alex’s rock during the hit ITV series.
Alex says: “Sharon understood it in a way that none of the production could.
“People don’t necessarily recognise that there is anything wrong because I can still look fine.
“So I think people can sometimes assume you’re just being a bit over-dramatic.
“But fortunately, Sharon would recognise it and she’d make sure I’d get some time out in the physio room, to be quiet and see how I was.
“When I look back on it now, that was a really tough time but I love the show."
She was cut from the DOI line-up after 2020 – something ITV suggested was down to a desire to keep switching-up cast members, but one that still baffles her.
"I loved that show and to this day I still don't really know why I was dropped," she says.
Now she is building up her social media presence. She also speaks daily to other young stroke survivors – helping some to make sense of their future.
She says: “Paul knows that if I’ve done a speech, or hosted an event, the next two days I might be completely mentally drained.
“He understands he can’t be in those same shoes as me, and he doesn’t try to be.
“But if I’ve had to stay in bed all day he’ll never make me feel guilty. He’ll never say, ‘what have you done today?’. Instead he’ll ask me if I’m alright. He’ll offer to cook dinner. He’s amazing like that and this is why I’m marrying him.
“And of course I worry. I worry that I might have another stroke. And, heaven forbid, but if we ever have kids of course I worry if our kid inherits the same hole in heart.”
Raising awareness of strokes is something Alex feels passionately about.
Style For Strokes’ colourful campaign this year – called Joy For Jumpers – is being supported by dozens more stars over the coming weeks, including Sharon Stone, Kylie Minogue and Laura Whitmore.
All profits from jumpers being sold will go to supporting those with brain injury, by raising money for SameYou, a charity founded by Emilia Clarke, and Interact Stroke Support, a charity dedicated to stroke recovery.
Alex hopes, more than anything, it will get people talking.
She says: “Nobody talks about strokes, which is really crazy. But I think people don’t want to talk because the majority of people who do have strokes are affected for the rest of their lives, and that’s really an uncomfortable conversation to have.
“People think it’s an older person’s disease or you’ve brought it on yourself because of your lifestyle. But that’s not always the case.
“I think the bottom like is, if we talked about strokes a little bit more, if people knew to look out for slurred speech or paralysis of the face, they could act more quickly. That small window of time might make all the difference.
She jokes: “I always say to other young stroke survivors, you can’t drop the ‘stroke bomb’ on a first date so I never said anything when I first went on Celebrity Coach Trip, even though someone else had gone through stroke and I could relate to everything she was saying.
“That came later, when Paul and I went out after the series and he asked about something he’d read on it.
“But I also want to talk about it – as someone fortunate to have come through it.
“I remember my mum said to me once, ‘if you don’t talk about this, you are a doing a dis-service to everyone who has had a stroke but can’t voice it’.”
The ‘Jumpers For Joy’ collection for Style for Stroke is available now at https://www.fundjumpers.com/product-category/joy-statement-jumpers/ all profits from sales go to the charity.
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